by Heidi Nicole
You are probably wondering, how does this relate to love and this blog? Well, fear is one of the biggest barriers to love. Often, we stay in old comfort zones and use predictable belief patterns to let fear hold us back from doing the things we really want to do: tell our best friend we are really in love with them, take the leap into motherhood, change careers or anything else that makes you want to run the other direction. We don’t love ourselves or others as much as we want to almost solely out of a place of fear.
The good news is that the more we know about our fear, the better we can understand it and start thinking differently about it. It is possible to work through fear entirely each and every time it comes up in your life.
It is possible to love unconditionally, yourself and others.
It is possible to share love, infinitely.
Let’s look at it…
Fear is about the future. It seems to me that people are pretty much living in a constant state of fear nowadays. Because of messages we hear from the media we are constantly reminded of violence, destruction, power and negativity. Our brains are biased towards negativity. We pay more attention to negative situations, experiences and information than positive anything. Left to our own devices without inspiration, creativity and excitement, our glass would be perpetually half-empty. How dismal. There are things we do immediately to start working through your fear and creating an abundance of love in your life. Turn off the TV. Stop talking about doomsday. Replace your pessimistic stories with dreams and positivity for the future. Start believing that the best is yet to come (because it really, really, really is). Choose to anticipate and create an awesome future for yourself instead.
Create infinite space to love in your life and fear will gradually disappear. It is that simple. It’s all about choice. Click to Tweet
Fear is also about loss. We fear the future because it’s going to be different from what is happening right now. We don’t want things to end because we might lose someone, our job, income or pleasures. We might lose our health, comfort and control. We fear we will be rejected. Ultimately, we fear dying alone. So, get used to change. You might as well embrace it. The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance. Be present in the moment and learn to let go of the things you think you need and want. The universe is making sure you are taken care of.
Change is pretty freaking fantastic. Change is full of wealth, love and joy. That stuff is endless. Click to Tweet
Fear challenges us to practice courage. You must have an example from your life where you took a risk or spoke out and the end result was exactly what you intended. Often, in order to get what you want the most, you must act, speak up, take risks; do the very thing that you fear the most. Take this advice immediately: Start going into situations and doing things differently than you would have normally done. Do what feels uncomfortable.
Walk right up to your fear and hug the sh*t out of it. Fear loves that. Click to Tweet
Fear is also an illusion. When you have your basic needs (shelter, food/water, clothing) met, it is unlikely that your fear is grounded in reality. Essentially, you are giving your fear power by calling it fear when it actually isn’t fear in its truest form. Instead, when we create a life of passion, joy, meaning and love the world around us becomes more trustworthy and safe; therefore, less full of fear. Try this: Explore your fear. Write about it. Bring it to the surface. Stop ignoring it. Peel back the layers. Name it. Interact with it. Look at it from all angles. Love it. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Remind yourself that your fears are merely thoughts of the unknown. In this present moment you are safe and healthy. Breathe and keep moving forward.
Fear actually calls you to live life to the fullest. It truly asks you to look inside yourself and identify your gifts and talents. Answer the calls to do this. Be uncertain at times because it keeps you alive; that heavy heart pounding is actually good for you. When you’re living on the edge of the unknown, anxiety is normal. When you are not, freak-outs become frightening and wrong.
Endless possibilities await those brave enough to follow their heart and live a life of love. Click to Tweet
Ask for help if you need it: There are so many opportunities from people (such as life coaches) to assist you in stepping into action should you want or need support. The conversation that I have with my clients can be an incredible catalyst for change. As a coach, I give unconditional love to people. My support, feedback, guidance, camaraderie and sometimes a swift kick in the rear is always coming from a place of love. I could never have become a coach (or done many other things) without stepping into my fear and growing from those vulnerable moments.
Want to chat more about fear (and LOVE), all of my contact details are below!
Heidi is a Certified Life Coach, supporting gutsy women through times of transition and periods of being royally stuck in dissatisfaction. She also practices Social Work at a local community hospital emergency department. It is her endless toolbox of resources and her loving kick-in-the-rear encouragement that keep people coming back for more! When she’s not meeting with people and building her tribe, both on and offline, you can often find her on the couch with a glass of wine, reality TV remote in hand and chocolate colored puppy at her feet.