by Sara Notenboom
If you know me or my writing, you know that I often speak and write about the concept of connection. Connection is the soul of life. We need it to thrive, and we are hardwired to seek it out.
Connection is about cultivating a space where unconditional acceptance, openness, and love rest and authenticity is able to reveal itself.
Each and every one of us is energy. We all radiate, bringing our unique energy to every little thing we do, and every interaction we have. Energy is immensely powerful, and is, I think, the most significant element to fostering deep connections. Energy is about your presence, your way of being. It sets the tone and communicates by way of feeling. It conveys messages beyond our awareness.
When we attempt to reach out and connect with others via the words we speak, the actions we take, or the creations we bring into being, they must be supported by energetic congruence. That is, our energy must align with the manner in which we are attempting to connect with another. For example, I can say that I am open, accepting and compassionate all day long, but if I am not emitting an energy of openness, acceptance and compassion, my words have little meaning or power. Alignment is fundamental to impact.
I believe that energetic frequency is determined by intention. Each and every day we wake up with the ability to choose who we are going to be in this world. Every action we take, word we speak and thing we produce is infused with the energy we bring to it through the intention(s) we hold.
Every day I wake up with the intention of being and bringing love, compassion, authenticity, openness, vulnerability, acceptance and a sense of service, to all those I interact with (including myself), to all that I create and to all that I do. I want my life to reflect my intentions, because to me, that it is true success. For example, each time I sit down to write a post, I begin with the intention of being of service. It is always my intention to convey love through the words I write, with the hope that people will feel the energy infused in the words on the page. More than anything, I want people to feel loved and accepted when they read the words I write.
Energetic presence is all about feeling. Your energy is influenced by how you feel, which in turn influences how other people feel when they interact with you. Feeling is the most powerful mechanism to fostering connection, because feeling is that which resonates most deeply. Feeling is impactful. Powerful. Potent. Forceful. Dynamic.
But because we are humans, there are times when we don’t necessarily feel our best. Times that we aren’t necessarily radiating at the frequency that we would like to be. Times that that we feel energetically off. It happens. And that’s ok. Allow yourself to feel whatever is blocking you. Approach it with acceptance, openness and compassion. Sit with it. Look at it. Express it. It is only through doing so that we can effectively realign.
Some strategies for realignment:
- Music. Music has a way of making us bringing all our “stuff” to the surface. It can give us permission to feel the things that we often fear facing, and allow us to feel comforted while doing so. Music often speaks louder than words can, and can touch our souls in a profound and deep way. Music is healing and empowering. It can inspire feelings of love, gratitude, compassion, motivation, unity, courage, fearlessness, boldness and can bring us to a place of vulnerability and authenticity.
- Meditation. Getting quiet, and tuning in. An opportunity to slow down and focus. An opportunity to hold space and to allow.
- Writing. Love notes to yourself. Write to yourself as you would your best friend. What do you need to hear? Write it out, and re-read as necessary.
- Creativity. Anything that you can pour yourself into. Immerse yourself in whatever activity you choose. Be fully present, and allow whatever moves you to be expressed.
- Gratitude. Take a moment to reflect on all the things that make life amazing in this moment. Write them down, no matter how big or small. Making gratitude a daily and conscious practice has a way of radically shifting our energy. We begin to see life with a different lens and eventually, gratitude becomes an unconscious habit. It allows us to become fully invested in each and every moment because we begin to realize that this is life. Every moment, every experience is temporary and unique. Life is a privilege.
- Reach out. Connect with the people in your life who make you feel good. The people who accept you for your imperfections and vulnerabilities. The people who are always at the ready with a hilariously awesome joke or funny story. The people who are always happy to hear from you. The people who say “I am always here for you” and really mean it.
- Practice self-care. Give yourself the permission to slow down and do something just for you. Do what makes you feel good, remembering that it is only by filling ourselves up that we can be of the highest service to others.
Your presence has the power to change the world. It really does.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
– Maya Angelou
Sara holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and English Literature, and is currently completing her Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology. She has a particular interest in the area of grief and bereavement, and is an experienced bereavement support facilitator. Sara regards her work as her calling, and is passionate about empowering people to embrace their lives fearlessly. Follow Sara on Twitter @SaraANotenboom.